-Tishyaa Sehgal

I feel no love, no self worth, no life, for the first time in my life I feel truly empty and while I know many people love me I feel unlovable, like no one will ever look at me the way I’ve always dreamed of. Maybe it’s because I have valued other people’s opinions over what I have always wanted to be.

Tried to be a different person for someone else when I needed to be me for myself. Or maybe it is because I always mistook entitlement for self love because when I needed to love myself for who I was I fell in love with the idea of me and not me and every time I did that the idea of me came crashing down, taking along with it the entitlement and the ego and any semblance of self that I had taken years trying to form. 

When I finally broke down and felt like I was nothing and worth no one, in moments like those I felt for the very first time in my life, true to myself, gone were the expectations that came with being me, what was left was the shell of a person and inside this enormous shell of an ego was me.