Written by Niangthianmuang S. Ngaihte.

I am constantly devoured

By jabs of pain—
A you- sized hole in me. (I am not lying)
I switch back and forth
In dreams and reality
Awake. Asleep. Awake. Asleep. Awake. Asleep. Awake. Asleep. Awake. Asleep.
Awake. Asleep.
(I am not lying)

I search for words
Like pebbles along a dirty beach

To weave you into a story.
(I am not lying)
I stay sober
Or try to, in my head
In case I see you
Camouflaging within a crowd of my thoughts (I may be lying)
I wish I metamorphosed Into a giant insect
Devoid of thought and being
(I am not lying)
(I am lying. I cannot deal with losing memories of you) (I am not lying)
I have had enough
Of you and you and you
I float away.
Missing you is an inconvenience. (I am lying)
(Lying)
(Lying)
(Lying)

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Raw Whispers Magazine, edition 3.

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